#BlackGirlGrit

#BlackGirlMagic has ran its course for me. While I’ll still use it for the days where my Fenty highlight is popping ever so dearly in the sun, or for the days when my natural curls just seem to be spiritually coiling from my roots, there isn’t a hashtag for what I push through on the daily. Now don’t knock me. I know vanity is not why #BlackGirlMagic was created, but I’m entitled to feel that the hashtag isn’t enough, for me.

Magic is in the gold that flows through our blood. Magic is how our skin absorbs the heated gifts from the sun. Magic is what shines through our eyes and  what peaks through our smiles. Magic is what we make others feel. But GRIT… Grit is the inherent force that pushes us through our best and worst days. Magic is in the end game, Grit is the attitude during the process.

Grit is the culmination of courage, conscientiousness, commitment, and resilience. The application of grit brings forth excellence in all endeavors. Excellence is the end game, not perfection. If your moves are being made and being fueled by perfection, it is not grit. Getting to that inherent grit is a process. The process includes removing the never-ending want to achieve perfection. Black women listen, chasing perfection is what keeps you going back to whatever you use to self-medicate. Chasing perfection is why you are anxiety-ridden. Perfection powers depression, low-self esteem, and self-doubt. Perfection is that one man you love, but need to let go.  Let it go, sis, because perfection is for appearances.

The Black woman is the epitome of perfection so it baffles me how we often strive for a perfection that already lives inside of us. It’s like a dog chasing it’s tail. If you don’t see perfection in the mirror when you stare at it, you’re still out here chasing tail. I have a strong love for the black woman. The Black woman nurtured and birthed us all. She is a spiritual and physical being that outwardly conveys every entity in the universe. The good, the bad, the ugly, you can find it in the Black woman. That’s the beauty in Her. The Black woman in the foundation, therefore the very essence of eradicating her is impossible. She will continue to strive to achieve all and still keep her crown in tact. The Black Woman is Queen. The Black Woman is Mother.

Growing up, every little black girl strives to be as great or even better than her mother. That might be a stretch to say EVERY little black girl, but I know plenty of girls who grew up trying to out do their mothers. I’m one of them, but the very essence of me sees now that it is impossible, because of grit. Grit is why my mother is still grinding. Grit is why I’ll never catch up. Because of grit, my mother pushed through life’s obstacles to be sitting at the top. She pushed through failed marriages, abusive relationships, fake friendships, pregnancies, employment, discrimination, tears, pain, victory and failure. She pushed through and pushed others through. The spirit of the Black woman is Grit. It’s a flame that never lets up. It might get smaller from time to time, but that flame is never put out. She has achieved more than I ever imagined she would. Mother has gone from the Cooper Road to Cornell because of God and Grit.

I too have grit. It wasn’t always there. Not in the capacity in which I hold grit now. I told you earlier that grit is the culmination of courage, conscientiousness, commitment, and resilience. As we grow, so does grit. Once we find our true purpose, our grit deepens. I’ve always had the tenacity and I’ve always had the commitment. I’ve always had the resilience, but the confidence aspect is what I lacked. I would wake up every morning knowing what the day’s goals were and I would strive to achieve those goals perfectly with perfect timing and no interruptions. *rolls eyes* I was high strung chasing tail because I was walking around pushing for perfection with not an ounce of confidence. I was striving for perfection all while convincing myself I wasn’t enough. The characteristics of grit I did possess the most of, resilience, is what kept leading me to achievement. It was a rough ride but now I’m thriving.

According to Andrew Zolli, grit has three tenets: 1)the belief one can find meaningful purpose in life, 2)the belief that one can influence one’s surroundings and the outcome of events, and 3) the belief that positive and negative experiences will lead to learning and growth. This is grit. This is fueled by resilience, that bounce back. Resilience keeps your crown high, resilience keeps your feet moving, and resilience is the powerhouse that pushes you to overcome your obstacles. #BlackGirlGrit describes what I see on my timeline and in the community on the daily. #BlackGirlGrit is increased numbers of young black women with degrees. #BlackGirlGrit is excelling in STEM and coding fields. #BlackGirlGrit is single mothers readily achieving their life goals. #BlackGirlGrit is the #MeToo movement raising awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault. #BlackGirlGrit is black women protesting for health care and equal rights. #BlackGirlGrit is black women pushing their black owned businesses and supporting their black men.

#BlackGirlGrit is teaching young black girls to take the societal blinders off to achieve excellence. This is empowerment. The earlier we teach black girls the importance of grit (confidence, conscientiousness/tenacity, commitment, and resilience) and show them what empowering each other can bring versus tearing each other down, the earlier we can rebuild our community. Black women, we are the makers of society. We are the cultivators of the community. We push each other and we push our men to strive above the standard. We hold the keys to the culture. Go forth and build. Go forth and network. Go teach and learn new things. C’mon and represent that #BlackGirlGrit. Go Forth, Bounce Back and Buy Black.

Just Keep Sipping,

-T

9 thoughts on “#BlackGirlGrit

  1. Cj says:

    I love how u broke that down perfection is ones nature period si striving for it like chasing your own tail so excellence should be the goal I definitely feel that the idea of the black woman being God has been lost in the culture but all those things u were describing is god all of us dealing with our spiritual nature, our higher self, is god but that’s another story for another time but the black woman being the portal from the spiritual to physical makes her more then the man us comin from her not her from our rib but to cut this short I don’t want to ramble but yea I love this

  2. Jo says:

    Great perspective. I know Black Girl Magic is more than being “pretty”, but Grit definitely sounds like more work is being put in. Love it.

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