These are the final two words found on slayingevil.com at the bottom of a synopsis of a book, “Negro Wars”, written by Babatunde Umanah, a black man.
This “short and critical examination of the modern day black woman”… has been everything but short and all types of critical. But you can’t really knock him because it’s his truth right? Hmm.
Now my first instinct as a black woman was to be defensive of my own and retaliate. But, I’m not going to do that… Not in the way that you expect me to behave. I’m going to do what a many of black women have done in regards to black men for centuries: GUIDE, PRAY, UPLIFT, and show COMPASSION, because these are actions and qualities of a black woman that you clearly aren’t privy to because it’s obvious you don’t seem to understand.
Now many of my ladies would disagree and say I should try my hardest to silence you. But see, I view the world a little differently. Just like you berate the black woman on your platform seeking to “EXPOSE” her, you perpetuate the black man we hide from. Run from. We don’t want a man to discourage us from living up to our potential. We don’t want a man who bashes us any chance he gets only to stroke his own ego. We don’t want a black man who seeks to control us to make himself feel better to compensate for whatever qualities he lacks whether it be physical, mental or spiritual. We don’t want a man who questions our abilities and challenges our strengths because it completely defies his understanding of gender roles and dominance. Hell, we don’t want a man that doesn’t validate our superior greatness. Yes, as vain as that sounds, it reigns true. Just as we support and praise our “kings”, we should be treated as “queens”. The want to bestow a title upon ourselves shouldn’t be a topic held against black women… this title we spread around and sprinkle with BLACK GIRL MAGIC was a title given to us by GOD. If I want to love myself and call myself QUEEN I can do that. It’s self-love in the midst of you perpetuating self-hate.
It is stated in the above-mentioned book “modern-day black women and racist white men are two sides of the same decadent, rusty coin. Both seek the destruction of black society and especially black men”. The destruction of society and the destruction of black men….. sips tea. Now, at this point in this blog post ladies and gents, I want you to turn to your neighbor and say “Sis/Bro!, Ain’t this bout some shit!”Explain to me black man, how the woman who gave life to you wants to destroy you? How does the black woman seek out to destroy everything in the society she built!? Excuse me, let me be culturally correct for the misogynistic brothas in the back, “helped build”. How are we the women associated with destruction and hate for our own? You use statistics to justify the hate we have for our people and ourselves. It’s referenced that “40% of black men in prison are there because of black women”. Then you follow up to say “most black men who are put in jail are there because of black women”. Okay now take a step back. You looked at the statistic but what was the reasoning? Drug charges? Domestic Abuse cases? Crimes of Passion? What was it? Shed light? Because I find it difficult to see a black woman go out her way to put the only living man who understands her pain and struggle away in a cell for the rest of his life. The same woman that marches for equality. The same woman that fights for the safety of her man and her child. The woman to seeks to find a way out in the midst of all the stones being thrown her way. Black man, How? You even go as far as to discuss abortion statistics… Negro look, it has been known for centuries that white women should be leading the pack in those statistics. Most of their abortions go unreported because they have the money to cover them up. But that’s another blog for another day.
As you are throwing stones at black women and crucifying our character, I can’t help but see the pain you obviously have been through. But catch this tea, just like you aren’t the epitome of every black man I have or will ever come in contact with, all black women are not like the little girl or grown ass woman that scorned you. Look, black man, it’s okay for you to hurt, but it’s not okay for you to perpetuate stereotypes and degrade women in the process. These stones you are trying to turn, have your name etched in deep on the other side. Let me tell you something about self-hate. Self-hate seeps from the pours of man through vast criticism of others. Need direction? Let me guide you….
“Negro wars also deals with the deification of the white man as god by black women, how they worship, adore and pay homage to their white father and how they desire mixed children so that they can have offspring with “good hair”.
Inhales sharply. Okay look I would love to sit down with you and take a pencil and paper to map out how you have come to the conclusions you have reached. Just like I said before I don’t speak for every black woman, but let me tell you something black man,…. The only thing a white man can do for me is continue to put me down much like you have in “speaking your truth” on your blog. The concept of the white man, for me, has always been a reminder that I will never me good enough with my dark skin and my nappy hair. The white man for me has always been a mirror into a world where I will never truly be accepted despite that I am degreed and intelligent. The white man has been an eye opener, however, because the white man has laid the blueprint for you. The white man has been an eye opener, however, because the white man has laid the blueprint for you. See you black man have done the same thing he has… Do me a favor and define “good hair”… See the idea of the offspring of black woman having “good hair” came into play after the European standards of beauty took over. This is the same standard that implied that black women will never be as desirable as white women. They (social construct of a European world) stripped us of our beauty from the melanin in or skin to the porosity of our hair. Even to this day, black women (WOC) are not taken seriously if they wear their hair in its natural state. WOC are not taken seriously if they wear weaves. They are not taken seriously if they shave it all off. Women are just not taken seriously. But see, our beauty is a serious matter. Our beauty is what attracts man. God has given our beauty to us. God made woman desirable, man made us feel as if we could never be. But I refuse to have my beauty stripped from me again. I am QUEEN on my own throne with my own standard of beauty.
Black man, listen, if someone didn’t teach you to be confident in the features you were given, I’m sorry. If someone didn’t make you feel like the King you are destined to be, I’m sorry. If someone told you they didn’t want to be with you because your skin was too dark or your hair was too nappy, I’m sorry. That’s a pain no one should have to bear. You know that pain that you will never be good enough. That feeling that every social media site, blog, or newspaper has something negative to say about your being, your person, your culture. Yea, black man, I know that pain too. I feel it every time I read your truth. I’m sorry if every black woman you came in contact with had a bitter attitude, but did you ever ask her why? You want some insight read my blog. I’m sorry every black woman you know is combative, but did you ever wonder why her walls are so far up? I’m sorry that you have only been in contact with belligerent black women but did you ever ask if you might have triggered something to cause this behavior? This behavior black man is not in the majority of black women. Every black woman is not mean; if so most of the time it’s not on purpose. We just wish that a black man would finally go to bat for black women like we face the repeated bludgeons for them.
I pray that some black woman will grace your presence and show you the love that someone took from you.
Just keep sipping,